This is me. I know I may not look it from this picture, but I consider myself fairly intelligent. I'm no magna cum-laude , but I'm not stupid either. If you ask me where Genghis Kahn is from, I would tell you Mongolia. Ask me which nations are the permanent members of the UN Security Council. US, UK, Russia, China, and France. It is unfortunate that no one asks me these questions. However, there are some things that I NEVER remember. No matter how hard I try and how frustrated I am about forgetting them again...they DO NOT stay in my brain. Here are the annoying details I always forget in life.
1. Throw out empty bottles in the shower. I'm not really sure why I have all the bottles of soap, face wash, conditioner, shampoo, hair masks, face masks...on and one. And whenever they get empty I never remember to throw them out. I just put the new one in the shower next to the empty one. I'm working on this, but progress is slow.
2. My system of organization. I can create amazing organizational systems. Files, boxes, charts, graphs, you name it. But I can't ever remember what they are. Where did I decide I was putting the kids crafts to save? Where did I put that bag of things to take to goodwill? What was the plan for thank you cards? I have a massive attention span for projects. But if things don't change often (e.g. cleaning schedules) I loose interest and block them out of my mind.
3. Paint my toe nails. I have a massive selection of polish. If I have a little spending money I love to go get a new color. I've done that since 8th grade. But then I completely forget to actually paint my nails. I usually don't notice this oversight until I'm out and about in sandals when it is too late.
4. Emailing my mom back. Sorry mom! I don't know why I always seem to forget to return her emails...but I do. Maybe because I know that I will talk to her on the phone later??? I don't know. Grace mom, grace.
5. Lettuce. I can never remember if I need a head of lettuce or not when I am grocery shopping. I stand there holding it, squinting my eyes really hard...trying to remember. "Am I out of lettuce?" I always throw it in my cart under the assumption that its better safe than sorry. Although I'm not sure how lettuce would keep me safe. This is how I end up with LOTS of lettuce in my fridge. The best part is that I don't ever use lettuce. Oh, well.
6. Water Plants. Give me a class in botany & I will study all night. Ask me to water a plant for a week...forget it. Not going to happen. Tuck it in your brain now. If you ask me to water your flowers for you while you are away, I will eagerly say 'yes!' and mention how much I love flowers. But they will be dead when you get home. Don't ask me.
7. My in-laws address. I can never remember this. It's not hard, but I can't. I write it down, and then can't find it. So I email my mom or my brother in law. They text me back with it. I write it down again. Next month I can't remember it or find it. I direct your attention to statement # 2.
8. Returning library books or movies. You would be embarrassed for me if you know how late I was returning movies. I think Hollywood Video had me on speed dial in high school. They wanted their movies back. I probably could have funded a small mining venture with all the late fees I paid out to them. Thank you God for Netflix.
9. Online Accounts. Uuggh...not only do I have several email accounts, I have to remember which one I used for various purposes. What is my amazon account? Do I have one? If so, which password did I use??? So, I end up opening multiple accounts for Amazon, Paypal, Etsy...this just compounds the problem.
10. People can still hear me when I am wearing headphones. As a little girl on road trips I would turn my walkman on and sing along loudly to Amy Grant and Sandi Patty...forgetting that my family could hear me. Fast forward to this morning when I was sitting in the DMV waiting for my number to come up. Listening to a podcast, I realized I was saying "Amen!" loudly. And everyone could hear...just because I can't hear them doesn't mean they can't hear me. Please brain remember this one!
Okay, those are my top. Remember, don't let me water your plants.
Oh, my goodness. I laughed out loud. Yes!!! My little girl is becoming self aware!!!! Actually my little girl's dad (that would be me) actually has many of these same issues...or at least some of them. My attention span is so short it is SCARY. I think I've invented a new condition called SADD (Seniors' Attention Deficit Disorder).
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this, having born witness to it for 29 years (or however old you are...I forget). On a side note, I think it is unfortunate that China is on the UN security council (and France too, now that I think about it).
ReplyDeleteI currently live with a female (name withheld to protect her identity) who also struggles with numbers 1 & 5, and to a lesser extent number 2. On the other hand, she is absolutely OUTSTANDING with numbers 3 & 6; our back porch is a floral masterpiece, with bright, ALIVE flowers all over the place.
So, Liz, you are henceforth forever banned from watering our flowers, or returning our movies, or painting our toenails...
Related to number 1, all I can do is smile as I remember walking into your room after your last visit and discovering 6 or 7 half-empty water bottles.
ReplyDeleteI buy produce and put it in the produce drawer but refuse to throw away the empty produce bags already in the produce drawer. Today, I found a bag of spinach that I bought in March. Yeah, my roommates hate me. So I guess I struggle with a hybrid of 1 and 5... which means I'm somewhere at a 3.
ReplyDeleteLove to hear your quirks. Afraid we all have some. I especially love reading your Dad and Mom's comments!
ReplyDeleteLiz! Read your status - way to go for actually painting them. I was once in your very sad situation...and then I moved to Asia...and now I spend 30 cents to have somebody else paint my toenails for me every now and then. Does that count as remembering? Maybe you should move here... :)
ReplyDeleteStatement number 7 made lol bc it's so true.
ReplyDeleteThe brother-in-law with the address
I am understanding more and more the bond we feel.
ReplyDeleteThis was really cute. Stumbled upon your blog via FB...first time here. You're a talented writer. I will be returning. :)
ReplyDeletei agree w Elise... you are a talented writer. You have a gift and you're using it. cheers to you.
ReplyDelete