We were at our engagement retreat & all the couples had to play these games that show the importance of good communication. All the girls took off our shoes, mixed them up & put them in a big pile.We then made a huge circle around the pile. The boys were blindfolded & had to find their fiance's shoes, bring them to her & put them on her feet.
My job was to give clear directions to Jady so he could find my shoes among the chaos of blindfolded men. His job was to listen to what I was saying. This was a dumb game from the beginning. To top it off one of the guys was deaf and he was getting a blindfold too. How is a guy with no sight & no hearing going to stand a chance? Poor guy.
So, the game begins. I quickly realize we are in trouble.
I need to pause to say that if my husband was telling the story it would be completely different. This is my blog so I am telling my story. Sorry sweetie.
I was giving clear, slow & deliberate instructions. He was not listening. As soon as a shoe was in his hand quickly he tossed it aside to keep looking for the 'right' shoe. Before he had heard if it was my shoe or not he had thrown it across the room & moved on to another shoe.
My husband is very competitive. He really doesn't like loosing. He really really doesn't like loosing a communication game to a deaf man wearing a blindfold. We did lose.
We are both very headstrong & stubborn people. He felt I left him to dry out there & gave him no direction other than an occasional whisper. I felt that he didn't even try to hear was saying & it was a stupid game. Who cares if we lost? Yes, I actually looked him in the face & said "Who cares if we lost?".
This opened up quite a few issues & we actually discussed calling off the wedding. In the end we decided that our love was strong enough to endure losing to a blindfolded deaf man. Jady learned to pause a bit longer to hear what I was saying. I learned never ever to say the phrase "It's just a game, who cares if we lost?". And we were married a few months later.
God reminded me of this story yesterday. He used it to illustrate the point that I have a problem tossing things out of the way while trying to find the 'right' thing. I move on too easily without really listening to hear God tell me if I should hold onto it or let it go. When I rely solely on how it feels in my hand I unusual end up missing it.