Lessons From My 20s: The 'Next Big Thing' is usually small

27 days until I turn thirty. Today's lesson from my 20s: The "Next Big Thing" is usually small

My dog is big...my daughter is small.

We often think that the best is the biggest. So when looking at the futures of ministry, parenting, job markets, business strategies, and investments we often look at what seems to have all the hype around it at the moment. 

Things that enter the scene with a bang usually leave with a fizzle. They die out. It was ballooned hype. When a controversial pastor gains sudden influence because of his or her approach to ministry we want to hop on the band wagon. I mean, look how many people follow them on twitter! They must be doing something right.

A few celebrities loose a bunch of weight by taking some supplement. Eating healthy and exercising is so archaic. I'm sure that our bodies have evolved to where all they need is a supplement. The famous girl said so. Pass me my venti white chocolate frappe please. This nifty pill will help me burn off the fat...until the FDA bans it in 5 years.

New trends aren't bad. Its just that they rarely last. How many of you guys still do Tae bo? Don't put all your eggs in a basket just because it has a sudden flash of momentum. People are fickle. They will move on to Zumba in a few years. 

Long term change is brought in small increments. Slowly building vision and values into people. Gradually developing a following based on conviction and not just good marketing. Apple slowly changed the face of technology by slowly growing into their influence. They have a solid business based on years of work that can sustain the explosive advancement in the tech market. 

When I look at my life and think of what I who to be, or marks I want to make in my generation I can easily be swayed by the 'big thing'. The thing everyone is tweeting, blogging and having conferences about. It is easy to want to attach myself to something that seems to be surging so I can gain ground. 

But I have learned that the real next 'big things' start small. They start simply. Built with conviction and wisdom. To get to be the woman I want to become I don't attach myself to what seems to be the influential and most popular approach to something. I attach myself to the thing which will change my character, my lifestyle, and sharpen my gifting. I attach to discipline and hard work. I attach to what will make become who I want to be not just carry me a few feet. 

Bubbles always burst. Foundations last. 

Lessons From My 20s: Time Will Tell

In 28 days I will turn 30 years old. So, each day of November I am posting a lesson learned in my 20s. Today's lesson : Time Will Tell.

I tend to be an impatient person. If I have an idea I want to have all the steps figured out twenty minutes after it enters my brain. I will think through how I would explain it if asked and trouble shoot any potential problems. 

Decisions would be made like clockwork if I had my way. Ministry decisions, friendships, apostolic ideas would all have concrete plans. I would know how the story ends. I don't want to wait. I want to decide today.

I want to know where I am going to live. Which school my kids will attend. I want my question answered now and I want you to return my phone call immediatly...or I will text you until you respond.

Much to my irritation whenever I go to get advice the answer is usually, "Well, just wait and see." I don't want to wait and see. I want to know. Today. Forget waiting, I want to predict. 

Then I get restless and start to become stressed.  Finally I  realize that no matter how many scenarios I come up with I do have to wait and see. Time will tell. It will tell which decision is the best one. Time will give me perspective. 

Most importantly time lets me see what fruit is being produced by something. I can see what God is doing on a broader scope. I wait so my heart will calm down & I can hear that still small voice. What is God speaking and saying?

I would make immediate decisions to long-term problems if I had my way. Thankfully, I don't have my way. I have to wait. And time does tell. Simply waiting eliminates about 90% off the stressful, mind consuming filtering that I try and do on my own. 

Hopefully in my 30s I will be better at simply resting with God while He, in His timing, reveals the answers to all my questions. I hope I get better at that...but...time will tell.

Lessons From My 20s: Life is Sweet.

As you know, I am turning 30 next month. So each day in November I am posting a lesson I have learned in this previous decade. Today's post is a bittersweet one. Three years ago today Sweet Hopkins lost her battle with cancer.

Sweet Hopkins with her daughters Kendall & Ivy.

Sweet's daughter Kendall was on our team that went to Seattle & is  a dear friend. Having gotten to know Sweet over those years was such a blessing to me. I don't think I have ever met a more accurately named person. Sweet was the very definition of her name. My friend Erika & I were talking about it yesterday, and we decided to write this post together. Here are her thoughts:

My life was sweet with sweet…

She loved life, family, and friendship.   I loved hearing Kendall talk about her childhood, how most nights of the week children from the kids ministry, her best friends, their neighbors, or her moms’ best friends were at their house.   Their family had wonderful traditions like cheesy chicken and cornbread casserole, telling hilarious stories and huge Christmas dinners with friends of 10-15 years.  I can’t say I’ve seen friends more devoted then the friendships Sweet built. Even in the seasons when they got bad news I always felt like their house was full.  Ladies sitting in the bedroom reading magazines, praying, making jokes, Kenny in the kitchen cooking up something wonderful with friends, Kendall and her friends, Ivy and hers. She loved to build and make connections and this is the way she did life, open, genuine, hope-filled and full. 

She loved presents, prizes and treats. I was Kendall’s roommate for almost 3 years in Seattle. When we first moved into our apartment I was sincerely amazed at all the lotions and pajamas that FILLED the bathroom we shared.  It wasn’t long before I started realizing why.  Sometimes it was a holiday like Valentines or Easter, and sometimes it was “just because”, but Kendall would get this huge package several times a year filled with large bottles of Philosophy lotions, pajama pants, always some yummy treat (sometimes homemade) and sometimes sentimental keepsakes.  Sweet loved gifts and she loved beauty and it nurtured, loved, and filled our house with wonderful smells and pretty things.  I’ll never forget the time she sent an antique family piece, an extremely fragile glass candy dish filled with candy and pajamas, dresses and lotions (of course )one Seattle Spring.  

       -Erika Kraus

When I look back at my 20s I remember one specific lesson Sweet taught me. Kendall had accidentally stabbed her hand and had to get surgery up in Seattle. Sweet couldn’t come up to be with her, but she called me daily (sometimes multiple times a day) to check on her. She coached me on what Kendall needed and ideas of how I could help her. It was incredibly helpful actually. Sweet showed me how to love Kendall better. Sweet taught everyone how to love others better. That is why she herself was so loved.

Sweet also taught me that who you have around you is more important that what is going on around you. She was the same hospitable woman when she was healthy and when she had just come home from a chemo treatment. I remember sitting next to her watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 while she laid there exhausted from chemo. She talked to me about Sophie and the importance of loving kids…She never stopped investing in people regardless of her situation. She never forgot about others.

Today, I remember her. I remember what she taught me. Life may be short. But it is sweet.

Lessons From My 20s: Friends Are Friends Forever (cue cheesy song)

On December 2nd I will turn 30 years old. In honor of this momentous occasion, I am blogging daily in November a lesson I have learned in my twenties. Today's lesson : Friends Are Family.

These are some of my nearest & dearest. Can't imagine life without them...

Last night I actually started crying when I thought about celebrating my 30th birthday without all of my closest friends. I was thinking about what I wanted to do for my birthday party and realized that many (certainly not all) of my close friends live somewhere else. And then the tears flowed.

I am sentimental about random things. I did in fact take a photo of the doorknob in my house in Russia. Strange, I know. My 30th birthday isn't that odd of an event though. And, if you knew my friends you would know why I wish I could be with all of them on my birthday. They are truly incredible.

My friends love me well. A few reasons why I love them back:

• I have roamed the streets of various countries and they are fabulous co-adventurers. In fact, Kristin & I met in Paris.
• They have celebrated the birth of my kids & sat by my side when I had a miscarriage. Ashley driving all the way from Portland.
• We have watched each other fall in love. Sometimes ending in happy marriages and for others broken hearts.
• Several of them have graciously followed me as I clumsily learned how to lead.
• They have helped me pack/move more times than I can count! 
• I can call them at 1 am and they will call me back. Believe me, I have done this a few times. 
• Some of the most constructive criticism I have received has been from my closest friends. Thankful they believe in me enough to be honest.
• Several have dyed my hair for me...sometimes a win & sometimes a fail...but, I won't name any names.
• I go from silly to feisty in 2 seconds. They put up with it.
• They patiently listen to me as I lecture them about the importance of skin care and daily SPF use.
• They disciple me in the ways they obey God no matter what He says.
• I have seen them walk through some significant valleys - depression, a few who have chronic illness, the death of a mom, disappointment when they put it all on the line and risked big...and they walked through it with honesty, hope and loving God more in the end.

I could go on & on... My friends are like family. My friend Sarah has been a bestie since 1st grade and others as recent as a few years ago... I have learned not to take them for granted. I have learned that friends like these don't come around all the time. Now I make time for phone calls to catch up.  A depth of relationship that multiplies with each year we know each other. My gratidute abounds.

Lullaby

This is my lullaby tonight. Listening to it several times, letting my heart rest and connect with the bigness of the One watching over me as I sleep. 

It is from a website called His Deeds. The site is full of inspiring stories and testimonies of what God is doing in the lives of people like you and me. We all need a reminder that God is good and He is moving. Check it out & I promise you will be encouraged. 

Sweet dreams. 

I'm A Stalker

Yep. Here I am. The Stalker.

I saw a news article today that was talking about someone getting a restraining order on someone who was stalking them. I didn't read the story, just the headline. Skimming past it to the next article I thought to myself, "Stalkers must be the creepiest people. Who does that?". Then I realized, that I am a total stalker. Yes, me. Sweet, girl-next-door (okay, I have NEVER been described as the girl next door, but it makes me sound likable) me. Three specific instances came to mind:

1. When I was in Rome my friend Connie & I wanted to go to the Vatican. However, we got lost and had no clue how to get there. "Scuzi...uh, umm...donde esta el Pope?" As luck would have it we spied a few ladies that looked like they may know the way. They were dressed in black with somber faces. It was indeed a group of nuns. Perhaps if we discreetly followed them they would lead us to the Vatican. Low and behold after many narrow streets and confusing intersections we found ourselves at St. Peter's Basilica.

Lesson: When looking for holy places follow a nun. They know the way.

2. The summer after my senior year in high school I was in England. My friend Kelly & I had read too many Jane Austin novels & when we saw this cute guy we totally stalked him. We referred to him as Ashton and followed him all throughout downtown Norwich. He had blonde dreadlocks, wore a backpack and road this cool vintage bike. In our minds this guy was studying literature at the university while actively involved in political issues and read poetry under a tree by the river. He was probably not that interesting in real life, but we never found out. Despite our 'appearing' in the same location as him multiple times he never came over to say hi. I suppose we weren't as mysterious and attractive to him as he was to us. 

Lesson: When looking for romance, don't follow the guy on the bike.

3. My friend Erika & I were driving to Crawford Texas to scope out George W. Bush's ranch. After herding a loose flock of goats off the roadway & talking to the secret service agents we decided to return home. We were not going to see the President that day. All of a sudden a caravan of black suburbans drove past. Erika & I made a U-Turn and sped to catch up with them. I kid you not that we both put on over-sized dark sunglasses. She drove and I sat poised with her big black camera in hand just snapping away. We followed them for several miles until they pulled into a grocery store. Turns out it was Condoleeza Rice and her husband. We casually parked several rows away so as not to tip off the secret service . Good thing they couldn't see us behind our big glasses. After being stared down by two guards we decided we should probably go. I guess they had notice we had been tailing them for miles. 

Lesson: When stalking government officials have your friend drive. That way they have her license plate on file and not yours...

I clearly have a habit of tracking people down when I am on trips with friends...Which supports my suspicions that I should have been a spy. Really, I should have been. Except I don't handle stress well. And I get lost in airports. And I don't know how I feel about concealed weapons...okay, maybe not a spy. Maybe a girl scout. 

The Most Fantastic Day

Every day with this man is a fantastic day...

I really needed a good day. These past few months have begun to take their toll on me. I have lived in 3 states since March, we are trying to raise $15,000 to complete our adoption, needing to figure out where my place of contribution was in ministry here,  we were trying to buy a house but didn't have a down payment...So many practical things. Plus, this past week I have been trying to fight off really anxious thoughts and the sense of being, well, mediocre. 

A few days ago I looked at all the things in my life that seemed to be swirling around me and said, "God. I need a break.". God heard my cry and gave me today...

8:30am : I woke up. Jady took the kids this morning so I could sleep in...(yes, with 2 small kids 8:30 is sleeping in) I then spent time with Jesus and had a relaxing morning with the kids.

12:00 : My 5 year old surprised me by making lunch for our whole family. The most tasty sandwiches, chips and fruit ever. 

1:30 : I got a massage. My mom gave me a voucher she had for a free 1 hr session at a local spa. It was heavenly. The lady beat me. She pushed on the knots in my neck so hard that I actually started sliding off the table. Oh, bliss.

3:00 : Arrive back at the house to find sleeping children. So, I got to take a nap. Glory!

4:30 : My dad comes home and with an envelope for Jady from someone else. We open it up and there was a $2,000 check for our downpayment! Really?!?!? 

4:50 : A different person calls on Jady's cell phone. They ask how much we still need for a downpayment. We say $2500. He tells us that he is sending us a check for that amount to cover the remainder! What!?!?! 

In 20 minutes God provided $4500 for our house out of the blue. We hadn't called these people and asked them to give. God just knew what we needed when we needed it. He knew I needed a day of complete rest. Sleep, relaxation and provision. He knew I needed a miracle. And He gave me one. 

So thankful for a kind God who blesses beyond what I deserve.